...they didn't know
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I never once regretted my abortion. It was the right choice for me at the time, and it made me a better mother to the children I did choose.
I sang my first solo in church when I was five-years-old. And until I was fourteen and my parents divorced, more Sundays than not, my family and I sat next to my grandmother in the front pew of our church. Because of my religious upbringing and because the clinic bombings and anti-abortion violence that was taking place as I was coming of age - including murders of abortion care providers - did exactly what they were meant to do, I was silent for over thirty years.
But then November 2016 happened and silence was no longer an option. I knew my story was important, but I didn’t know how important it was until I was back in Kalamazoo for a Planned Parenthood event and I heard Reverend Nathan Dannison say, “NOWHERE IN SCRIPTURE IS ABORTION CONDEMNED.” I had to choke back tears. His words were a catalyst for lifting the cloud of shame I’d carried with me my entire adult life.
Our shame and our fear are exploited and politicized to keep us silent and to keep us powerless. But we matter. Our stories, big and small, matter.
When women prosper our families prosper, and abortion care is about prioritizing pregnant people's lives, and children’s lives and families over the potential for life. And knowing that that’s okay, knowing that we can forgive ourselves, whether or not we ever choose motherhood in any of its complexities, is a gift I want to pass on to you.
I am 1 in roughly 4 women who has accessed abortion care by the time she is 45, 59% of whom are already parents. And I’m a mother-by-choice. And I’m a sister and a wife and a daughter. The more we can pull back that curtain and reveal our struggles and our truths, the more people will go into their polling places and vote to, not only restore Roe, but to make accessing abortion care and contraception, or choosing motherhood and parenting, safe, resource-rich and truly achievable for all.
I believe that telling my story is Divine work.
I am not ashamed. And ~we~ are not alone.
I sang my first solo in church when I was five-years-old. And until I was fourteen and my parents divorced, more Sundays than not, my family and I sat next to my grandmother in the front pew of our church. Because of my religious upbringing and because the clinic bombings and anti-abortion violence that was taking place as I was coming of age - including murders of abortion care providers - did exactly what they were meant to do, I was silent for over thirty years.
But then November 2016 happened and silence was no longer an option. I knew my story was important, but I didn’t know how important it was until I was back in Kalamazoo for a Planned Parenthood event and I heard Reverend Nathan Dannison say, “NOWHERE IN SCRIPTURE IS ABORTION CONDEMNED.” I had to choke back tears. His words were a catalyst for lifting the cloud of shame I’d carried with me my entire adult life.
Our shame and our fear are exploited and politicized to keep us silent and to keep us powerless. But we matter. Our stories, big and small, matter.
When women prosper our families prosper, and abortion care is about prioritizing pregnant people's lives, and children’s lives and families over the potential for life. And knowing that that’s okay, knowing that we can forgive ourselves, whether or not we ever choose motherhood in any of its complexities, is a gift I want to pass on to you.
I am 1 in roughly 4 women who has accessed abortion care by the time she is 45, 59% of whom are already parents. And I’m a mother-by-choice. And I’m a sister and a wife and a daughter. The more we can pull back that curtain and reveal our struggles and our truths, the more people will go into their polling places and vote to, not only restore Roe, but to make accessing abortion care and contraception, or choosing motherhood and parenting, safe, resource-rich and truly achievable for all.
I believe that telling my story is Divine work.
I am not ashamed. And ~we~ are not alone.
(Originally published on Planned Parenthood's Tumblr after Kim Jorgensen Gane told her story before around 2000 activists from every state in the land
in 2018 in Detroit, Michigan at Power of Pink. You can watch a video here: https://youtu.be/7gZWqRSqgIk?si=FilhCbjxy8y3lmxS)
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