Today, September 10, 2014, the World Health Organization and the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) co-sponsors World Suicide Prevention Day. To commemorate this day, the MSW@USC invites you to participate in the 100 Voices for Suicide Prevention campaign. Around the world, suicide is a major public health problem and is the leading cause of death for young people. Worldwide, nearly one million people succumb to suicide each year, a number that exceeds deaths from war and homicide combined. This year marks the 12th anniversary of World Suicide Prevention Day with the theme “One World Connected.” In honor of National Suicide Prevention Week, we hope you’ll participate in as many of these #suicideprevention events as you can. 

Last year, I participated in the National Suicide Prevention Blog Carnival with the written version of my post, What If I'd Said, "Just Drive?" This year, I stepped on a stage with my fellow cast members in NW Indiana to read that same piece before a living, breathing audience for Listen to Your Mother 2014. Many of the five years of Listen to Your Mother videos deal with topics of depression, including single parenting, postpartum and suicide, with common themes of survival and hope threaded throughout, because, let's face it, as wonderful as it often is, motherhood can be hard. It can also be tears-streaming-down-your-face hilarious, as evidenced by Liesl Testwuide of Hairpin Turns Ahead and Robyn Jackson Welling of Hollow Tree Ventures reading two of my favorites. I watch them whenever I need a laugh. Many days I've sought the laughter these delightful women inspire, especially after our collective laughter stopped recently when Robin Williams lost his battle with depression, and took his own life. Don't let that happen to you. Seek and celebrate the laughter, reach out, and if you're a survivor like me, I hope you'll get involved. 

For this special day of awareness and action, and for single moms everywhere, here's my video:

I find solace in my children. I find solace in getting involved in, advocating, and celebrating my local community. I find solace in reaching out and not being alone. There are many ways you can participate in what's left of today, this week, and the rest of this month. I love the #TheSemiColonProject, because it's geared to writers. This post by Denise Drespling explaining what the semi-colon means. And Denise has some great strategies for mental health wellness in her video on today's post. Follow along and Tweet your semi-colon, real or Sharpied. 

Here's mine:

National Suicide Prevention Week Schedule of Events:

Sunday, September 7, 7pm PT/10pm ET: MSW@USC’s community manager @GabyAcosta101 will serve as a special guest on the Suicide Prevention Social Media Twitter Chat #SPSM. Join her for a conversation about how we can leverage new media and virtual campaigns to raise awareness around Suicide Prevention. 

Monday, September 8: Today is the 100 Voices for Suicide Prevention Kick-off! Over 45 leading voices in the suicide prevention field have contributed guest posts, podcast interviews, PSA’s, and resources to help raise awareness in honor of Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month. We ask that you share this project to help promote the work that our collaborators are doing to prevent suicide in their communities. 

Tuesday, September 9: Check out the “You Matter” project. This early-intervention campaign aims to to facilitate human connections in order to promote positive mental health. According to the IASP, connectedness is crucial to individuals who may be vulnerable to suicide. Studies have shown that social isolation can increase the risk of suicide and, conversely, that having strong human bonds can be protective against it. Reaching out to those who have become disconnected from others and offering them support and friendship may be a life-saving act.

Wednesday, September 10: Today is World Suicide Prevention Day! Follow the International Association of Suicide Prevention on Facebook for updates on their WSPD events.

Thursday, September 11, 6pm PT/9pm ET: @MSWatUSC will be moderating the #MacroSW tweet chat to discuss ways we can synchronize suicide prevention efforts between individuals and organizations around the country. RSVP for this event here.

Friday, September 12: Join us for a #NSPW Follow Friday! Tweet and mention individuals and organizations who you want to recognize as leaders in #suicideprevention and awareness advocacy work.

Spread the Word On Social Media:

For Collaborators:

Sample Tweet: I’m joining @MSWatUSC & 45+ experts for the 100 Voices for Suicide Prevention campaign. Read my post here: http://bit.ly/100Voices #NSPW

Sample Facebook Post: I’m joining over 45 experts in the field and USC School of Social Work for the 100 Voices for Suicide Prevention campaign. Check out my submission here: http://bit.ly/100Voices #NSPW


For Advocates:

Sample Tweet: @MSWatUSC joins together w/ 45+ experts for the 100 Voices for #SuicidePrevention campaign. Read Now: http://bit.ly/100Voices #NSPW
            
Sample Facebook Post: “USC School of Social Work has built a collaboration with over 45 leading voices in the suicide prevention field who have contributed guest posts, podcast interviews, PSA’s, and resources. Share the 100 Voices Campaign to raise awareness for this critical issue: http://bit.ly/100Voices #NSPW

Keep the suicide prevention and awareness conversation going on social media using the following hashtags: #suicideprevention #NSPW #stayalive #youarenotalone #itgetsbetter #saynotosuicide #stopsuicide #unsuicide #twloha #loveislouder

Thank you for raising awareness with us!  

If you or a friend are considering suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It is free and confidential.

Does your family battled colds, flu, bronchitis, sinus infections, or other persistent maladies each season, despite what you’ve always thought was a healthier than average diet?

It’s no wonder we have the health problems we do in this country, when we are chronically misinformed about what it means to have a “healthy” diet, when we assault our immune systems with “whole grains,” such as wheat, wheat and more wheat, day in and day out. 

Did you grow up with the stack of “Wonderful” Bread on the table at dinner every evening, after you had a “Wonderful” Bread sandwich (likely made with processed bologna) in the lunch your mom lovingly packed for you, and likely after “Wonderful” Bread toast for breakfast?  That’s what I call “Stacking” (TM).  And even though we’ve perhaps graduated from “Wonderful” Bread-type products, many of us eat our “Wheatie-fuls” or a bagel for breakfast, think we’re doing something better than the local Burger Barn and get a “sub” for lunch, grab a soda and a crunchy Dorito-ey-licious snack mid-afternoon to battle the slump, and then go home to enjoy pasta with bread for dinner. 

I mean, YUM!  But WOW! 

Eating that way twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, nearly 365 days a year is extremely stressful (and/or over-stimulating) to the immune system, and can result in frequent bouts with allergies and seasonal illness—for my son, it was chronic croup that developed into mild asthma.  For me, over twelve years ago now, it was chronic sinus infections, yearly respiratory illness including bronchitis and progressive asthma, which resulted in a couple “Z-Pack” prescriptions per year, followed by dreaded yeast infections. 

For my husband, scarier, more progressive health issues persisted, exacerbated by the incredible job stress he was under.  As a former firefighter, likely with a compromised respiratory system because of it, the stakes were much higher.  He had two episodes of A-Fib (Atrial Fibrillation, which puts sufferers at a dramatically increased risk of stroke), and he battled walking pneumonia, often two to three bouts per season.  For him, the season seemed to start earlier and last longer year after year.    

Something my family discovered because we’re gluten free?  There's no difference if we’re assaulting our immune systems by “Stacking” with rice, rice and more rice.  Eating little in the way of fresh vegetables, not getting enough protein, and consuming tons of empty calories full of sugar and chemicals is a sure way to invite colds and flu to visit and revisit for the winter and to stay awhile.  Ahem.  If I fed myself as well as I feed my son, stopped skipping meals, got more sleep, reduced my portions, and got up from my computer for an hour each day, I’d manage to shrink my size.  Hmmm…it sounds so easy….

Weight alone, however, much to the befuddlement of the Dr. Ozes of the world, isn’t always a reliable indicator of wellness.  So for the purposes of this article, allow me to define wellness as getting through cold and flu season with no episodes of cold or flu, and NO antibiotics.  It is POSSIBLE, even if you aren’t considered ideal weight, and it’s something I’ve managed to avoid for over twelve years.  It's something my grandfather did for 100.  This is an idea I love, and one (knock on wood) we’ve managed to achieve thus far this season, my husband included.  This past winter was his second without walking pneumonia and without antibiotics. My son is ten-years-old and has been on antibiotics only once in his entire life.  That was during our first season in San Diego, when his body was likely adjusting to new and different regional pathogens.  Our family was under an incredible amount of stress with all the adjustments, which didn't help any of us, because stress has a chemical impact on our bodies.

I have discovered and incorporated some important dietary adjustments with my son, however resistant my husband remained to the same changes for himself (when I wasn’t watching).   So what do we do, what have we changed in order to achieve our definition of wellness?

Perhaps you’ve already gotten help that’s lead you to put your child on a gluten free diet, but it hasn’t exactly provided the magic solution you’d hoped for.  It's important to note that many of the gluten free swaps available are simply processed garbage of another sort.  They may not contain gluten, but they contain a variety of starches that offer very little in the way of good things (fiber, protein, essential nutrients) to put in the body, and they're often higher in sugar, fat, sodium, and empty calories to make up for what they lack in taste and texture. 

Whether or not your family needs to be gluten free, Clean Eating (as clean as you can manage and afford at least), whole foods and VARIETY are important components typically missing in the Standard American Diet (SAD) or in the Standard Gluten Free Diet (SGFD).  Equally detrimental, we tend to rely heavily on sodas, artificially flavored and artificially sweetened waters, diet drinks, sports drinks (c’mon, unless you REALLY are an athlete, actively participating in an intense sport that is at that moment producing sweat, it's not warranted, and coconut water is a far better source of electrolytes and hydration), cool-aides, and even fruit juices, etc., which not only contain loads of sugar (fructose is still sugar and needs to be balanced with fiber and a protein source at a minimum—and definitely kept to a minimum—water, folks!  Good old WATER!), but also artificial sweeteners, artificial flavors, food dyes, preservatives and high fructose corn syrup.  These are all empty calories that sap the body's energy stores, stress the liver and kidneys (the body's detoxifying organs, which the skin is also a big one--so put only good things on and in), and wreak havoc on a tiny body especially, and even more so, an unborn one.  

If these are things that typically land in your grocery cart, there's so much more to solving the puzzle than simply going gluten free, or than simply looking for the pseudo “whole grains” on processed and packaged foods.  If the nutrients are first stripped from the ingredients, and then must be artificially added back in or "fortified," that’s not real food, and it shouldn’t comprise the majority of anyone’s diet.  

We chose in early infancy not to rely on drugs with our son, and we successfully support behavior issues and improve his function in school with diet and by limiting sugar and avoiding many chemicals that pose as *food*.  We put lots of good things IN, and avoid all the bad we can.  That’s not to say we don’t buy cereal or kid snacks or indulge in pizza, hot dogs (OM Selects—no nitrates or nitrites, which are very bad for the heart, Natural Choice is another option with no nitrates or nitrites), or cupcakes on occasion, but one key thing for my son's wellness is knowing that he requires a good source of animal protein with his carbs, or his body simply can’t process them in a way that allows him to be in control of his choices and his focus.  

Maybe once a week or less, my son used to choose Chex cereal, for instance.  I'd mix that with Perky’s Crunch Flax with Chia to reduce the sugar grams he was getting per serving, and the chia boosts the protein grams.  And no, I didn’t love the GMOs, but sometimes we must pick our battles, it wasn't something he ate daily because VARIETY is our focus, and we balance those carbs with protein, always, especially at breakfast.  We've since compared labels and both reduced sugar grams and chosen a corn cereal that's a member of the Non GMO Project in Enviro-Kidz Amazon Flakes. My son gets a local, farm fresh egg (including duck eggs when they’re available) and some varied source of meat with a SMALL bowl of cereal or with his small serving of gluten-free pancakes (with added milled flax) or waffles with a little pure maple syrup (no HFCS fake stuff of the appealing “Aunt” variety) for breakfast every morning.  He still gets to be a kid, but we’ve always fed him more like an adult and his palate is sophisticated and varied because of it. These are the most important ways I keep my particular kid well, and may be helpful to keep in mind with your kids, too. Ours is a kid who eats a veggie-filled omelet on occasion, breakfast tacos, fish that isn’t breaded, craves salad, eats sautéed spinach, beans, and a variety of vegetables …but not broccoli, and not mushrooms, he hates those, and says, “My taste will never change on mushrooms, Mom.  They’re disgusting!”

There are two more important factors for our family, which I will discuss in my coming book. My son has taken supplements all his life, and in fact since before he was born.  As well, physical activity improves his brain/body connection and self-discipline—for us, Taekwondo has been extremely beneficial.  Once it was safe for him to do so, my husband began working out four days a week.  I was doing a good job walking on a regular basis last fall, and hoped to get back at it as soon as winter released it’s frigid hold on our region (I really need to do it anyway, but motivating myself to exercise alone has always been a huge struggle for me, something I have plans to get your help with in the near future), but I haven't yet managed to make it a priority. I love and miss yoga, and hope to come up with a way to incorporate yoga classes into my life again.

A great deal of my energy goes to grocery shopping, to sourcing and preparing food.  I go to a great deal of thought and effort to incorporate VARIETY into our diet, in particular where carbs are concerned, but we also consciously rotate the meats we eat.  If I get lazy, my son and husband tend to get mild to not-so-mild illnesses. We work hard to eat whole food blends and we vary our intake of brown rice, certified gluten-free oats, organic corn, quinoa, teff, millet, buckwheat, etc. (buckwheat is gluten free and is not related to wheat.  If you're not gluten-free, you can work-in organic sources of 100% whole wheat, spelt, and kamut).  We rotate meatless meals, as well as several meals a week that don’t contain any grains, including experimenting with things like coconut flour and almond meal, and we vary the brands of the products we typically buy.  This practice keeps us all much healthier, and my son hasn’t had an episode of croup in ages.  The last time he did, I knew exactly why.

Does it take thoughtfulness, work and planning?  It does.  Was it difficult to get my husband to participate in these ideas? It was for him personally, but never for our son.  He was always more than willing to do whatever worked best to help our son succeed in school, remain unmedicated, stay well, and he's always supported my experimenting.  There’s nothing like being defibrillated six times, however, to make a man sit up and take notice on his own behalf. I hope that will never be necessary for the ones you love, and I hope I’ve given you something to think about to help keep your family well during cold, flu, and allergy season.

There's a reason I hadn't written a new post on my *other* site since the beginning of the school year when my stomach was in knots over my food sensitive kid's first male teacher (he's doing fine, btw).   A number of things have occurred since, which left me ambivalent about continuing with a gluten-free site at all (especially with one called GlutenNaziMom). 

After almost two years blogging, today I received my first hate comments.

I was advised having such a brand would take some special care, but that there were ways around it.  It was catchy.  It worked for Seinfeld.  When my son was born and I had teenaged daughters in the house, Seinfeld was still a part of our social landscape.  I have to wonder now if social media would have put a stop to the running SoupNazi skit from it's first airing.  Instead, it became a part of nearly everyday language in our house, and in many houses across America.

I had teenagers making PB&Js, macaroni and cheese, frozen pizzas, all while I was trying to navigate life with a newborn.  The puzzle of figuring out what made him uncomfortable, difficult to please, aka, "high needs," combined with the risk of cross-contamination when I was still learning and trying to catch my bearings did make me a GlutenNaziMom.

Seinfeld, however, I am not.  

My son took six years to get here.  I believe that was because of food allergies.  My husband had colitis bordering on Crohn's Disease, I had PCOS and endometriosis and wicked seasonal allergies.  There are reasons our reproductive systems shut down first.  And yes, I believe our food system has a lot to do with why infertility is still rising meteorically.  So I was.  I was a GlutenNaziMom.  Crazed in my efforts to try to get some damn sleep, more than a 20-30 minute catnap at a stretch out of my newborn, which was barely long enough to take a real shower with hair washing and leg shaving and the whole zen peace and solitude thing.

It was a name my teenagers gave me.  It was our effort to find humor in a difficult situation.  It was an effort to laugh at life even when my feelings were hurt.  Even when I had to stand and rock a thirteen-month-old for hours in the middle of the night because otherwise he was screaming, I could only assume, in pain because I'd inadvertently eaten something wrong, possibly the size of a crumb.  It was the way our family, and a whole lot of families that deal with one "food-allergic" kid in the house, try to get through it all from one day to the next.  

It was about vigilance in order to survive our stressful days.  Writing about our struggles and trying to help others was my way of eeking some good out of an often difficult situation.  Would I have traded my son, who took six years to be, for any of it?  Of course not.  But that didn't change the fact that it was a roller coaster more often than not.

When we know better, we do better.  

In mid-2013, I became associated with a remarkable group of midlife women bloggers, several of whom have heritage deeply entwined in and forever affected by Jewish history.  Were any of these remarkable, insightful, supportive women people I wanted to hurt in any way?  Is anti-semitism something I want to contribute to in any way?  My God, no.  

My friend Sharon Greenthal, founding co-editor of the site, Midlife Boulevard, wrote a post on her blog, Empty House Full Mind, which gave me pause (as did the Sunday Review piece which inspired her post, "The Banality of Robbing the Jews").  My own piece and the frustration and fear I expressed back when school began also gave me pause.  I felt ensconced in a ten-year-old (47-year-old?) defeatist attitude.  I don't want to be banal about or laugh at something so painful for millions of people, and I don't want to rob anyone of their things, their dignity, or simply their otherwise peaceful day.  Though I don't think the commenter is someone familiar with peace.

And I was tired.  

And my son is ten.  He often chooses and prepares food for himself these days.  Everyday he shows me that he's becoming more and more his own man.  And what am I discovering?  That remarkably, my son embraces an attitude of, "that's gluten free?  You mean I can try that," versus, "Whoa-is-me, I can't eat anything!"  

The truth is, because our grocery cart and thus our crisper drawers are always full of good things, because the meals we prepare at home are chock full of items from the produce aisle and contain far fewer boxed and prepared processed foods than many typical American ten-year-olds might encounter on a regular basis, my son recognizes that the world is full of an abundance of foods he can eat--Variety and Vegetables.  I did that.  My grandfather, who lived to be 100, and my mother did that.  I did that for my daughter even when I was a single mom.  It's a legacy my family has passed down which does something pretty magical:  It keeps us well.

That's the gold.  That's what is unique and special about my family and how we approach the fact that we happen, now that my daughters are grown women in charge of their own households, to be a gluten-free one.  And I can embrace the positive.  I can forgive myself for my prior process of scarcity, blame, fear, to embrace a new philosophy of #MOREin2014.

The truth is, crunchy and militant isn't for everyone.  We all have our own struggles and stresses and we have to choose the battles that make sense for our families.  If more of us just do a little better, become a little more aware, it has the power to be far more impactful than a handful of crunchy people waving signs around.

And I'd much rather be a part of a positive movement than cause someone to viscerally recall such a negative, hurtful, devastating moment in the collective history of our humanity.  

A year ago, I didn't have a clue what I would do if I weren't defined by GlutenNaziMom.  If I weren't locked in the baggage of life's difficult moments, what could I do?  What could I be?  It's taken me this year to process.  With some pretty intense coaching from Nancy Kaye, of Define Your Destiny, and the best piece of advice she gave me--CLAIM YOUR WORTH!  There is NO REASON on Earth You Don't Deserve Success and Happiness--it took me all of 2013 to grow and embrace all that my life is, versus all that's maybe a wee bit difficult about it.  And to roll with the punches, to keep on keepin' on, even in the face of nastiness.

I thank the commenter who provided the impetus I needed to take the step I was having a hard time committing to—I’ve taken down the site.

I'm a work in progress.  When we know better, we do better.  I'm still here.  And I surrender.  

Letting go of scarcity to embrace my grandfather's and my brilliant and beautiful son's attitude of abundance feels pretty damn great.  And I'm just a little proud of my part in getting him, getting us, there. 


NOTE:  This post was written (meh, a couple days late to the party, albeit a very timely topic) as part of a #MidlifeBlvd bloghop.  One thing I know about these ladies?  There will be a plethora of hugely valuable best advice and information they ever received.  I hope you'll read through some of the other posts.